How Do I come Out To My Family As Gay, lesbian ,bisexual , Transgender !
"Great communication begins with connection. What makes us different from one another is so much less important than what makes us alike-we all long for acceptance and significance." - Oprah Winfrey
"How do I come out?" is a deeply personal and unique issue to which I want to provide some insight. "Coming out" can refer to a variety of topics. We can "come out" by starting a new career, taking up a new pastime, participating in a new sport, or dating a new boyfriend or girlfriend. We can also "come out" about something we've been keeping hidden. This page discusses how to "coming out" as a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, or questioning lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, or questioning lesbian, homosexual, bisexual, transgender.
I'd like to share with you an incredible "coming out" tale. I recently saw a video of a 10-year-old biological boy telling his mother, in sobs, that he is really a female. Wow!! I was moved to tears, felt sorrow for the child's suffering from being the "wrong" gender, and admired the child's bravery. Before those of us who aren't transgender pass judgment on this circumstance, I'd want to point you that this child was a miserable guy. He couldn't keep going in that direction. She was quite happy, content, had many friends, and lived a regular life as a female once she was allowed to do so. She was able to live a life that was genuine and true to herself. I understand that not everyone will agree with her parents, but this article is for teens who want to be open about their sexual orientation. When this boy, whom I'll call "J," came out to his mother, she handled the situation by telling him that everything will be fine. She was well aware that J had a penchant for donning his sister's clothes. She was also aware that J was dissatisfied. But she wasn't sure if J really wanted or needed to spend her life as a girl. As a result, she was surprised.I'm sure she worried a lot about J and whether or not he'd be welcomed. What was particularly lovely was that J's parents, sister, and grandmothers all immediately embraced her as a girl. J's grandfathers were reluctant, fearful that at such a young age, J would be unable to make this decision. They were being truthful. However, one grandfather gave J (as a female) a strong embrace in the film, demonstrating that he loved her no matter what.
I knew I was drawn to girls when I was 12 years old. It was terrifying since I had no support and was living in a homophobic era and culture. When I came out to my mother, I was 36 years old and told her that I was gay. She struggled with it, refused to accept it, and I ended up feeling rejected for the rest of my life. My daughters, who were 9 and 6 at the time, exclaimed "Cool" and have been quite tolerant and supportive ever since. J's and my tales demonstrate a few points to consider before going public . This method, which I've explained below, is intended to help you have a better experience coming out and, as a result, a better life.
Step One: Examine your positive thoughts and sensations. What do you imagine your perfect coming-out experience to be like? Perhaps you imagine that when you come out, you will be entirely welcomed. What would that entail? Is that a hug as well as a declaration of love and support? Then I'd like you to give yourself a hug right now and tell yourself that you love yourself. This is a critical step to take. Please take your time to fully appreciate this and allow it to soak in. This is your dream, and you are entitled to it.
Step 2: Acquaint yourself with your "bad" emotions. Do you have any apprehensions about coming out, such as fear, anxiety, frustration, grief, rage, or pain? Do you have any feelings about being in the "closet" for so long? What exactly are they? Do you have any bad sentiments about yourself because you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, or questioning? The greatest thing you can do is talk to a trusted friend or counselor about all of your feelings, write about them, sketch or paint, or create poetry. Feel free to express your emotions!
Step 3: Acknowledge and accept your emotions. Feelings are a part of who we are. Most importantly, we need to be welcomed by ourselves. This covers our emotions as well. Imagine cuddling each emotion that has to do with letting go. You might require assistance with this. A counselor can assist you.
Step 4: Confront your doubts. You're ready for your doubts now that you've worked hard to accept yourself completely. This portion of you will be referred to as the "Doubter." It's a good thing you have a doubter in you. It might assist you know difficulties, or road blocks to your dream of coming out. Now is the time to confront any questions you may have regarding whether or not your desire from Step One can be realized. Make a list and be as specific as possible. This might look like this: 1. Aunt Lupe is deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly 2. Uncle George will make fun of me or laugh at me. 3. Mom will claim that I am no longer her son. 4. Your father may become violent with me . 5. My parents are considering evicting me from the house. 6. People will no longer like me. 7. My pals will no longer want to talk to me. Now that you've completed your list, you know exactly what your Doubter is thinking. Decide whether each one is founded on reality, i.e. is actually an impediment, or if it is a limiting belief after each one. For instance, #1. Aunt Lupe refuses to listen to me. How did you come to this conclusion? Is it true that your Aunt never listens, based on your previous experiences? Okay, so you've decided that this is a limiting notion because your Aunt does occasionally listen. #2Uncle George will make fun of me or laugh at me. You've had the experience of your uncle making fun of you all the time. This is an impediment. #3. Mom will claim that I am no longer her son. It's also possible that she will refuse. Because you can't predict what someone will say, it's a limiting belief. #4. Dad may become enraged with me. What is your previous experience, once again? This could be a problem. #5. My parents are considering evicting me from the house. It's an impediment if you truly believe this could happen. #6. People will no longer like me. This is a stifling conviction. You can't predict whether or not people will like you after you come out. #7. My pals will no longer want to talk to me. Because you can't know what your pals are thinking or want, this is also a limiting viewpoint.
Step 5: Work through your limiting beliefs. This is a fantastic step since it gives you so much power. Let's take our example's limiting thoughts and transform them into empowering ones. #1. Aunt Lupe is deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly deafeningly de "Aunt Lupe loves me and wants to hear every word I have to say," for example. #3. Mom will claim that I am no longer her son. Let's say: "Mom will say that she loves me just as I am and is glad I told her." #6. People will no longer like me. "People will love me because I have a lot to offer them as a person," for example. #7. My pals will no longer want to talk to me. Let's say: "Now that I am honest to myself, my friends will want to talk with me." Make a commitment to speak each one twice a day for the next seven days now that you have your empowering beliefs. As your doubter brings up limiting beliefs in your life, repeat the process by adding new empowered beliefs.
Step 6: Overcome difficulties. Let's move on to Step 4's challenges. #2. Uncle George will make fun of me. You might prepare for this by imagining what you could say to Uncle George when you "come out," so he is less likely to mock you. "Uncle George, I need to talk to you about something serious, and I don't want you to laugh or make fun of me," you could say. People make fun of themselves or laugh out loud when they are surprised. So you may say something like, "I'd like to talk with you about something personal about myself."'Let's go to #4,' I say, fearing that Dad may lash out at me. If this is a possibility, it is critical that you remain safe. You have the option of telling your father over the phone or not telling him at all. #5. My parents are considering evicting me from the house. If this is a possibility, you must devise a sound strategy. Is it possible for you to remain with a friend till they calm down and take you home? Many teenagers flee for their protection, only to discover that the streets are extremely hazardous. If you are under the age of 18 and a student, and your parents refuse to take you back home, you can seek aid from a school counselor or even a social worker who can arrange for a safe home for you to live in . lternatively, you may decide that you can live with not coming out until you are of legal age and have a job, allowing you to live independently. Obviously, there are several hurdles that I have neglected to discuss, such as culture. Coming out in some cultures has its own set of challenges. Also, you can live in a nation where coming out is dangerous. You could be in a heterosexual relationship. It's possible that you're a single parent.
Step 7: Seek help if you don't already have it. Boost your support. Look for a local support group. Are you a college student? The Point Foundation offers students who are disenfranchised because of their sexual orientation or gender expression mentoring, financial assistance, leadership training, and hope.
Step 8: Gather additional information: A fantastic page on coming out to family may be found at http://www.PFLAG.org. Steps one through eight will assist you in preparing for your own reaction to coming out as well as the hurdles that may arise. Then you'll be ready for the reactions of others when you come out. You can still utilize these steps to process your dream, your feelings, your Doubter, your limiting beliefs, and the hurdles to your dream if you decide not to come out. More information and assistance are still available. In either case, I strongly advise you to get assistance.
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