Meeting potential partners is a difficult and nerve-wracking endeavor. Lesbians often have a harder time finding a spouse since they are unsure about the other person's sexuality. Fortunately, there are various methods to meet other lesbians in today's culture. Even in places where being openly lesbian is perilous, online dating services and counseling can help you find love.
Part 1\ Getting to Know Other Lesbians
1 Attend LGBT Events. If you reside in an LGBT-friendly location, look for LGBT social events online. These activities, which range from pride parades to bar nights to informal social gatherings, take away the stress and uncertainty of attempting to find other lesbians in heterosexual spaces. Look for them on meetup.com, social media, or search engines in general.
- If you aren't out to everyone in your life, consider attending gatherings in a nearby town where you will be less likely to be recognized.
- If you're in the United States, use the lgbtcenter.org database to identify neighboring community centers.
2- Increase the amount of time you spend on your preferred social activities. Your possible partners will not cooperate with your strategy, as much as we'd all like to meet someone without having to leave the house. Many lesbian couples meet while working at an animal shelter or on a women's sports team, but you don't have to stick to these preconceptions. Engage in a social activity or hobby that you enjoy, and your excitement will attract others who share your passions.
- Concerts are another wonderful meeting spot. Look for bands that feature LGBT musicians or have a sizable lesbian following.
3- Pay a visit to a lesbian bar. These aren't very common these days, so if you see one in your town, take advantage of it. If everything else fails, gay clubs are worth a shot. The majority of them cater mostly to guys, but you might come across one that hosts a regular lesbian night.
- Don't Bring your straight guy friend to a gay or lesbian BAR to avoid sending the incorrect message.
4- Online dating is a great way to meet people. Websites and dating apps are quite common methods of meeting people. Here are a few of the most popular alternatives:
- Lesbian communities can be found on OkCupid, Match.com, Plenty of Fish, and eHarmony. If you're not out, use OKCupid's ability to conceal your profile from straight folks.
- Compatible Partners is a community for LGBT singles looking for long-term relationships.
- Lesbian-only hookup/dating apps Brenda and Her (which also incorporates social networking) Surprisingly, the majority of mainstream dating apps couple lesbians with men. (Hinge, anecdotally, may be an exception.)
5- Make new friends in the community. Congratulations if you've already met the woman of your dreams after volunteering for one pride event. You're luckier than most. Take the long view and form lasting friendships in your local lesbian and bisexual community for everyone else. The dating pool isn't huge, so you'll probably run across a lot of the same people at different events. You'll make more contacts and be ready for more possibilities if you can laugh off a terrible first date and sympathize with other searches. More importantly, you'll join a community of people who will support you.
Part 2 \ How to approach a woman
1- Boost your self-assurance.
When you approach someone you find attractive, it's natural to feel shy. No matter what occurs, try to stay pleasant and friendly, and you'll build confidence with experience. An easygoing demeanor enhances your attractiveness while also making you feel better.
If you need some encouragement, a female wingman can help. Just don't be overly friendly, or the girl across the room will believe you're dating.
Lesbian dating is made more difficult by the guessing game "is she straight?" Making moves in LGBT spaces can help you feel less anxious, especially if you're new to the scene.
2- Make direct eye contact and a friendly grin.
This should be your initial step if you don't have a ready-made icebreaker, such as a mutual buddy to introduce you. Take it as an invitation to approach if she maintains eye contact for a few seconds, smiles back, or continuously glances in your direction.
3- Flirt. You don't need a pick-up line; simply strike up a light-hearted chat with her by asking where she's from or what she's doing at the event. Flirting can be as easy as following these three fundamental steps:
- While she speaks, turn your entire body to face her, smile, and maintain eye contact.
- Give a modest complement now and then (her eyes, her accessories, something she told you about that you find cool).
- Brush your hand on her arm or bend in to murmur something into her ear if she's responding nicely.
4- Invite her out on a date. Do not be hesitant to strike while the iron is still hot. There's a good possibility she's interested if she's been talking to you for five or ten minutes and appears cheerful. (And, really, you'd rather find out sooner rather than later if she's straight.) "I'd love to contact you anytime," "Could I get your number?" and "Do you want to move to that cafe across the street?" are all methods to communicate your intentions. If you get her phone number, call her again in a few days to set up your first date.
Part 3 \ keeping a relationship alive
1- Be true to yourself.
The purpose of dating is to see if you and someone else are a good match. Pretending to be someone you aren't stymies this process and will almost certainly lead to complications down the road. If you're dating a woman for the first time or aren't sure about your sexuality, tell her. If you're in the closet with your family, workplace, or friends, bring it up once you've established that this connection has potential. Not everyone wants to be your test subject or be introduced to your parents as "just a friend." As difficult as it is to end a relationship.
- Talk to your date about it if you've been dating for a long time
2- Let's get to know one another.
Discuss your passions and inquire about hers. The first few dates are all about establishing a rapport. To elicit a longer response from her, ask her follow-up questions ("How often do you travel there?" or "How was it for you?"). If she is reluctant to speak, change the subject to something more lighthearted to make her feel more at ease.
- Don't go too personal. Going into any dark histories or personal issues in the early stages is not a good idea. Save that for when you're ready to make a greater long-term commitment.
- On a date, never bring up previous relationships. If you've been dating for a while in a close-knit lesbian community, it can be difficult to avoid mentioning a name, but that doesn't imply your date needs to learn about your sex life or emotional tie with another person.
3- Discuss your expectations.
The most vital aspect of every relationship is open and honest communication. This is especially important if one or both of you are new to same-sex dating (or dating in general) and have undefined social expectations. Minor etiquette difficulties like who pays for the meal might cause undue stress. Before you assume it's a personal attack, take a breath and have a talk.
- Don't let the butch/femme dynamic determine your entire experience (if that even matches your relationship to begin with). You're not acting out a heterosexual relationship, so there's no need to assign roles to "the man" and "the woman."
- Open relationships are not frequent among lesbians, contrary to popular belief. [2] In every relationship, though, misplaced expectations can appear out of nowhere. If exclusivity (or lack thereof) is essential to you, have a conversation about it before someone gets upset.
4- Keep things interesting.
If you enjoy the direction this is headed, make an effort to keep it fresh. A relationship's lifeblood is date evenings filled with thrilling activities, heart-to-heart chats, and small, intimate moments. There's no set period of time or number of dates before you say "girlfriend," but if you're both happy and interested, the time will come.
and she's more guarded about her identity. Early on, get to know each other's comfort zones. delaying the conversation will only make things worse.
